It gets better!

So, yeah... I got incredibly bored on New Years Eve....
So... I Made another Youtube video.
Huge step for me there. :) Whooo!
Moving up in the world!
Always wanted courage to do this! 
Almost 200 views on my blog in just under a month!
That's more than I could ever have asked for! Thankyou!!!
Give yourself a good old pat on the shoulder....
And if you can't... A pat on the leg should suffice. <3

I love you all!
Zumo De mango.
That is all.

One Difficult Thing.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my life. And I love the time I have for me. Everything is perfect...
Except....
My mother has a problem with my sexuallity...
She doesn't like the fact that I am bi-sexual.
It's not very nice to know, that if you were married to someone, regardless of how happy you were, if they were of the same sex, your mother would not attend...
Apparently, It's "unnatural" and "more or less beastiallity".
No, Correct me if I'm wrong, But I have never looked at a pig and thought... "ooh, can't wait to have a go on that"
I don't care what anyone thinks of me...
But it's hard not to care when It's your mother.
It's quite upsetting...

Zumo De Mango.
That is all.

Dreams!

So, Here is my personal list of the sexiest men alive,

So here they are. (In no particular order)

Brendan Fraser

Oh yes!! What I wouldn't give for a touch of those abs! PHWOAR!!! He was incredible in the family film "George of the jungle". He portrayed himself as the expected "jungle boy", but didn't stick to the conventions of typical hottie. His clumsiness, among other things, were highlighted as faults, but he made those faults entice us to love him more. He was AMAZING in "The mummy" Saga, as Rick O'conell, and he was portrayed as a rough-tough American that cared about keeping himself alive. But as the story progresses, you find he's a sensitive and loveable, gorgeous character that you keep in your heart forever. Well done you sexy beast!

Stefan James Donald John Abingdon

Whoa! I'm taken back by this mother of lushness! He's the lead singer in the amazing band "The midnight Beast", which happens to be my favourite band. He's got such charisma and he's so funny. He just lives for a laugh and doesn't let anything get in his way. He's been in other great bands like "Icarus Burning" , "The clik clik" and "The midnight Patrol", But none as incredible as "The Midnight Beast". He's got the most amazing accent, and If you haven't seen his video's on youtube, I highly recommend you do. (Other band members include the gorgeous Andrew Wakely and the dazzling Ashley Horne, Whom you might have had the pleasure of seeing in "Doctor who" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0mH5epMSp4&feature=fvst 

Ashley Neil Horne

His Name is Ashley Neil Horne. He's more wanted than the top shelf porn. This little goddess is the second member of "The Midnight Beast". He's the one with all the sexual innuendo’s. You just fall in love with those eyes of his. He's a great actor, He's a great singer. He's Gorgeous!

Johnny Depp

Go on. Tell me you don't want him. He's Gorgeous! And one of the best actors in the world! Best known for his spectacular show of "Pirates of the Caribbean", He uses his mind-blowing skills to portray a vast amount of personalities. We witness his darkest, yet humblest side in "Sweeney Todd" Yet the complete opposite, a carefree drunk with a lot of idea's in "Pirates of the Caribbean". I take my hat off to this man. He's gorgeous! And really works for what he has. <3

Brad Pitt

WOWW!!!! Phwoar!  You want one? Heh. This man I would tap with more than a stick let me tell you! His acting genre is that of a chosen, nimble role. One queries as to his true personality in real life. You bawl your eyes out over "Benjamin Button" and urge to be beside him in "Troy". He seems like such a sensitive person... You just want to gobble him up, and dunk him in your coffee. And not to mention that fancy body he has going there. ;) PHWOAR!!!

Leonardo Dicaprio

We all know him. He's the ultimate chilli-pepper from the 90's. He won everybody's heart in the spectacular "Titanic" classic. He strides into your heart with every film he's presenting himself in. You melt with romance in "Romeo and Juliet" And you have to empathise and feel sorry for him in "Inception". He's a timeless classic that we shall never lose! Can you hear the titanic song?? Haha!

Robert Downey Jr

Oh yes please!!! Could I have fries with that? Look at him! He's literally got "Sexy" Written right across the gorgeous face of his! He stuns his audience in "Sherlock Holmes" and "Iron Man “with his sexy, charismatic and funny attitude. He portrays himself as a charmer, that has his ways with the ladies. Well, Forgive me when I say, He can have my way any day!!

Dick Van Dyke

We all remember this sexy fudge! He was the ultimate charmer, with the worst cockney accent! Fun lovable "Caractacus Potts" In "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and the jumpy, full of smiles chimney sweep named "Bert", jumps into your heart, with a collection of songs and smiles for all the family to enjoy. He was such a good looking bloke, right up to the day of his decent. You will be missed hun! Television life wouldn't be the same without you!!

Well, I'm sure there's more that we all find mind-boggling...

But these are just the first that spring to mind. Gorgeous aren't they? All my boys you see! ;)

We're all going to run away together... You'll see.

Zumo De Mango

That is all.

Phew!

So... Like...
I just... like..
Uploaded my first video of myself to youtube....
Whoa that was scary.
Used inspiration from My friend Hannah
http://killjoyblogs.blogspot.com/
Check her out. She's AMAZING!

So... Here is my new video... Maybe I'll make more...
Hopefully more origional ones though... Not like this one.

Holy Shit! Only just realised it's 4:40am.
Well... There goes my sleeping pattern.

Zumo De Mango.
That is all.

Say "No".

Don't you just hate it when people intimidate you to get what they want from you?
And do things, to make you repent?
The strongest word any person can possess, is that of a simple: "No"
The power to say that to your enemies is of a lesser quantity than the power to say no to your friends, and even lesser than those who intimidate you.
People will respect a person that has the courage to oppose their intimidators.
But once you master it, and once you apply it to your life, you and you alone can conquer anything.
At the end of the day, what is intimidation?
The power of influence over somebody using the tool of fear.
Say "No". Just once.

Zumo De Mango.

That is all.

Aaaahhh!

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if your parents pretended to be in your shoes for one day?
Just to empathise with you?
DON'T.
So, right now... I have 10 year old parents.
They are downstairs.
In their, "specially bought pyjamas" -(Like the ones they had when they were childeren)
They have moved my ENTIRE living room around.
To make a den.
To watch a cartoon.
And eat Strawberry laces.
I have a feeling me and my younger sister (12), being upstairs, are missing something.
Oh well, you only live once.

"Ahoy there captain, Got any room on yer ship there to be watching that cartoon there matieee?"

Zumo de Mangooo.
That is all.

Bet you're jealous!

So here's the thing.
Johnny Depp, David Tennant, Brad Pitt and I are eloping together to a far away place.
Just thought I'd say, because, ya'know... You're bound to envy me.
We're going to have a nice house on a hill, and have "chums over every friday".
You're all invited of course.... Ooh... except you.... No, not you, You on the left, NO Two next to her! YOU! Yes you.
Envy me.
We're going to have a picnic, with spicy Dorito's... And... Strawberry milkshake.
And we're going to have a massive matress that fills a whole room and it's going to be filled with blankets and pillows and pudding. Muahahahaha!
And we're going to watch films, and discuss how much better all of them would be as those roles...
And then we're going to act scenes out.
It will be SUCH fun!
Then when we're tired, we'll all cuddle down in the matress room, and talk about everything.
And be so happy that we've found eachother.

Zumo de mango.
That is all.

It's My Life.

I was thinking. Maybe I should write about myself, Like the selfish blighter I am. :)

Firstly, I'd like to start off by saying that I am female. And a very happy one at that. <-(Although, I have recently discovered that Indian food doesn't go well with my stomach, Ugh)

My name is Emily Joy Hattersley and I was born in Bradford, England into a beautiful house, with LOVELY windows. I was kept, due to the grace of my mother, even though she was convinced to do otherwise. (Nice thing to know huh?)

We had a nice house, a nice family, filled with warmth, love, and money. Lots of money. (As that's the "only thing that makes the world go round") I was a daddy's little girlie you see, and didn't really like to be touched as a child. I was content to do as I pleased, alone.

 When I was four, my mother got pregnant again (Whoopdie doo), and my father became ill. Very ill. It was in this time that I'd wake up to my mother screaming as he was rolling on the floor having a seizure. When I was almost 5, my little sister was born, and my poor mother, was left to cope with a new born baby, and a very ill husband, so I stayed in the "shadows" (If that's what you'd call it) Just, keeping to myself, on my own, enjoying the peace. It was in this time, I remember my mother getting angry with the dishwasher, and my father going into the kitchen, and pulling her out, into the lounge by her hair (nice image). I don't want you to think ill of him, He wasn't thinking straight. When I was almost 7, my father was taken into the hospital, as he was too ill to stay at home, due to fits, etc. My mother started an affair with our gardener. (ellipsis please!)

He wasn't exactly the nicest of men let me say. I was stopped from going out with my friends, so I could stay in my room and "study". He would sit with my almost every night, and study with me. I am grateful for this, as I am sure that without it, I would not have the intelligence I do today. But his methods of "teaching" were somewhat frowned upon in modern societies. My life from then on was filled with verbal abuse of "You're never going to get anywhere in life", "You're fat", "You're ugly!", "You've got the eyes of a hawk" Etc.
This somewhat implemented my everyday life. I got to see my father once a week.

8 days before my 9th birthday, my father died. We were alerted by telephone from one of his closest friends.
I remember my sister, my mother and I, Cuddling up on a 1 person sofa, crying. (Or should I say bawling, as that's the modern thing to do!)
I spent most of my grieving alone, and suppose, I have never really got over it... (As I have been told to do by many people).

My Nan died a few weeks later.

My mother broke up with her boyfriend, and he spent his time harassing us. He took a lot of our money away from us, and we moved into my late grandmothers house in Nottingham.

That was a load of fun. I was the outcast in school. I got into a lot of trouble for bullying people, and spent a lot of my time, crying in the school toilets. I was heavily bullied myself, but when I sought out help, It would never get sorted.
My mother went through a phase that we could call "rebound" (Poor thing). She needed someone to help her cope. I can't blame her for any of it. I probably would have done the same. (Two kids, harassment and bereavement to deal with?)
When she finally met a man. He was lovely. He helped her get rid of her old boyfriend's harassment, and generally made my mum happy.
He had a daughter and a son. His daughter was older than me, and because I had little experience making friends and communicating in the past, she bullied me...
We moved to Wales with this man, and he made my mum very happy. When I was 10, I went to a primary school, that really brought out my colours, and taught me how to interact with people. I copied the people I found had the most friends, and applied it into my own tactics. I still had very little confidence in myself, but the friends I made, helped me to be happy within myself. For the first time, I found peace. My mother's boyfriend's daughter made friends with me, (Probably because of my new-found hyperactive attitude) and we became closer and closer.
When I was 11, we moved house again, and I started at a different primary school. These people had the worst kind of bullying I had ever seen. I sought out to be the quiet one in this school. (Note my adapting skills). I was bought a dog. Molly. She was my reason, and my light. She was my darling. She was the one thing that I was able to give the attention that I never had. I loved her with all my heart. I moved to Comprehensive school, and I found myself, dithering between people to get attention. To gain the friends I never had. I tried my best to fit in. Year 7 wasn't a good year for me.  Year 8 was better, and Year 9 better still... Until the family problems set off.
My mother has a past history of sexual abuse, and tends to find things that people do, slightly differently to how you, or I may see them. She accused her boyfriend of touching his daughter, and she accused me of being lesbian. (Maybe could explain why I am bisexual now?) It all kicked off when my step sister was angry at being "told" she and i were "touching each other under the blankets", and she left. I was left alone again. My mother and I had a fight, in which I was bitten, and social services became involved. Even though I felt I hated my mother at the time, I don't blame her for anything. She had a lot on her plate. I ran away and lived out of a suitcase. I felt like I never belonged anywhere. Most places I went, I was allowed to bring my Molly, but when I was not, I was lost without her. I found school hard, falling asleep in school and not doing my homework. Constant arguments were going on between friends, and It was getting quite difficult to keep on a happy face.
Social services tried to patch things together between me and my mum, and while she was living in a hostel, I went to live with her (Recently made) ex boyfriend. It was then that, according to her, I was "Besotted" with him. (Considering he has two children that are older than me, you can guess the age difference. Ugh!)
My mother told me that we were moving house, and she put an advertisment in the paper for a home for Molly. I was devastated to agree to let her go, but I knew that it was the best place anyone could find for her.

A new house. A new life. A new start. It was. It really was. I was content.
So, Naturally, I started drinking. And smoking. And god knows what else.
 I let my past take over me, and shape the insecure, unstable, unhappy person I was.
School was not that easy. But It was copable (With enough days off. Tee Hee).
Year 11 started and that was it. I decided I was going to make a change.

 I am who I want to be now. I don't really know what it was inside me, but something has made me let go of the past. Like a bubble when it's been popped. I have found myself. Inner peace.
I hardly see my mother's exboyfriend, and never see his daughter, or son. I wouldn't see Molly, even if I could because I couldn't let go of her again. I appreciate life now, and everything that is given to me, is for a reason. Small things, like waking up, and making sure that the first thing you do in your day is smile, and when friend texting you in the morning, to see if you are on the "first train" really make you appreciate what you have. I am intellectual, and I AM going to get somewhere in life. I may not have the curves in the right places, but I am bloody happy to be here today!

I am 15 years old and I am happy.

Zumo De Mangooo!

That is all.

Peace.

I took this photo, Because it represented to me, how calm you can be, If you choose to be. It showed me utter peace. The sun reflected on the water. Your reflection. Is how you see yourself. I can choose how I am seen. Yes, it may feel imprisoned, but it is completely content, and tells me, be happy, regardless of the situation. See the good stuff! The shadow. Everyone has one! We're all the same! We're all unique. Two contrasting opposites, but we're all here. The bench, so perfect, and fit in the right place, yet no one sits on it. Basically, you're not to feel needed to be appreciated. Just being there is enough for everyone to love you! You don't need to be constantly shown respect and love, to be appreciated. The view is nice. Enjoy your life, as I'm guessing that bench does, by the beautiful lake.

Zumo De Mangoooo!

That is all.

Lump it.

This blog, is MINE.
This life, is a GOOD life.
This body, is CONTENT.
This hair, is AWESOME!
This heart, doesn't even feel SORRY for you.
These tears, are long GONE.
These hands, write what I FEEL.
This person, doesn't CARE what you think.
This mind, Is a FREE mind.
These thoughts, are only concerned by IMPORTANT things.
This agitation, is UNPHASED by your STUPIDITY.
This personality, is REVIVED by your absence.
These fists, are no longer CLENCHED.
These ears, hear only SWEET melodies.
This mouth, now only SMILES.
This girl, has seen the ERROR of her ways. YOU.

And then there's you.
Opposition much?

Zumo De Mangooooo!
That is all.

Moving Owwwwwwnnnnn!

Doesn't it strike you as amazing when you separate yourself from someone, and you overhear them, and realise how full of self-centred shit they are?
It makes you so happy when you realise that they are going to the people that are coming to you to talk.
It shows that if you don't talk about yourself all the time, people will want to be around.
It's so funny when they pride themselves on "how much better they are than you", And when you see them in person, they are "falling appart".
People that just only focous on themselves, and what they want in life, deserve everything that life hands them.
I pity people that feel they have to put themselves out there as "available" in the relationship society. They don't need to show everyone what they have got. If the person that they are aiming for, isn't interested in getting to know them, they aren't worth their time. If they feel that they need the attention from the people they flaunt themselves at, they clearly need to gain some friends that will give them that attention.
And if they don't have any friends, they should stop blaming everyone else, and take a look at themselves, to discover what could possibly be repellent about them?
I could name a million.
I have simpathy for you.
Good Luck with your life.

Zumo De Mangooooo!

That is all.

Happy Days.

I found this picture today. I think It's so cutsie. Look at it at the beginning of the day. If you apriciate it as I do, It'll make your day so much more enjoyable.

Zumo De Mango.

That is all.

Pidgeon

Today, I went out, As you do, And found this lovely friendly pidgeon who didn't mind that I stroked him. He let me take this photo like a real model. I just like the picture because he looks completely fake.... But he's real alright. I shall call him Pistachio. Because I don't know anyone with that name.... And I'm guessing he like's pistachio's... Right?

And... he gave me the eye.... So I have a feeling there is a future for us both! He'll be the perfect man, Never talking back, Never annoy me... Sort of like a blanket. :) But... I would actually want to huggle the blanket... Would I get diseases if I hugged Pistachio?  Hmm...

The same question lingers in my mind when I'm with a potential suiter! 

Zumo de mangoooo

That is all.

Looks-Shmucks.

So here's a question.
Why are people so obsessed by their own appearance, and that of them around them?
So, If one person argues that they want to make themselves look good and stand out from the croud, Why do they make everyone in the room acknowledge it, in front of the less fortunate.
In my experience, people that have their own style, are only using the style that has been inspired by someone else. You want to be completely origional? Make your own clothes.
From what I see, The people that choose to be "unique" decide that they look better than everyone else because they stand out, and it really shuns the people that don't have the creativity, or the money, confidence, or looks to do it themselves.
Thus, making those people feel left out, and alone.
Why are people so shallow?
When you see someone walking down the street, and you have low confidence yourself, do you tell yourself "I'm better looking than them?" Or do you just leave it?
As people, we are selfish. We strive to make ourselves feel better, by basically laughing at the less fortunate's faces.
If a person isn't as good looking as you, Don't point it out to them. It is harsh and uncouth. If you have your own style, Be origional and don't shout it from the rooftops, and don't judge those who don't have the confidence to come out of their shell.

Give someone a compliment for once. It will really make them feel better.


Zumo de mangooooo.
That is all.

Hide

-When I know you know the truth,
'Cuz the truth seeps through the lies,
You'll never be alone,
You'll never run and hide.
-And you know I know you're scared,
It looks really hard to hide,
Just bow your head and smile,
Keep your hate inside.
-They will try to sneak you out,
Try to reconstruct your mind,
Interrogate your house,
Desert the weak and blind.
-But just keep your head held high
And your heart remaining strong,
You'll find somewhere I swear,
Somewhere you can belong.

Burdened

-The requiem of sanity,
Conceals no hope.
Only bitter awakenings to the world unknown.
-The souls of the dead,
Rest uneasily in the night,
Waiting for the dawn,
And the bringer of light.
-The tank of which states,
Should contain my heart,
Lies smashed on the ground,
As a fresh new start.
-The dawning of the new,
Vanquishes the old,
And sets free the body,
Burdened with the cold.
-When all is ended,
And the land is dust,
I shall rise up,
Like impenetrable lust.
-When my soul is damned,
My body in ash,
I shall collect the evil,
Make a loathsome stash.
-Death is peaceful
A new beginning,
Living with the clouds,
And the silver lining,
-The depths of one's soul,
Craves hope and despair,
Without the love of another,
Is left diminishing care.

Only bitter awakenings

Sanities Requiem

I love you, though you fail to embrace.
Welcome to the abyss of Broken heart ache,
And with it, a Tragic mistake made in vain.
When All I've said has happened,
The reality of my consequences, becomes too harsh,
There I enter, Sanity's requiem...
Alone. Forever. Alone.
Through the descent of sadistic ways,
I find myself still longing for help.
The darkness creeps in to an innocent soul,
And sanity's requiem is avenged.

The Girl Never Knew.

Day by day,
She just watched him sigh,
“I just want to love you” he screamed,
She gave no reply,
She wanted him to hold her,
Close as could be,
But she thought to herself,
“He couldn’t want me”
She wanted him to kiss her,
And to both lay in his bed,
To dream together
And hope for a “yes” to be said.
She knew she’d lose him,
If she had him to herself,
She knew he was too good for her,
Made for anybody else,
But she loved him and wanted him,
To both lay in his bed,
To dream together,
And hope for a “yes” to be said.
She was scared of what could happen,
She knew the boy was too,
She thought,
“by now, we would have both been through!”
So, is that what would have happened?
if she acted upon her heart and not her mind?
Would she be happier?
Would life have been more kind?
“Was the boy always thinking of me too?”
And that was the question, you see,
And so the Girl, Never Knew.

A True Friend

A true friend is someone you can completely be yourself around.
Someone you can look out for, And know they will look out for you.
A good friend is someone you can trust with your life.
Is someone you can love and tell anything to.
Someone who doesn't care about what you don't and doesn't get embarrassed by what you do.
A true friend is someone you can express everything to, and never have to keep secrets.
A true friend will never try to come in between you and anyone else.
A true friend knows when you are truly hurting and needs help.
A true friend doesn’t force you to feel you have to be funny all the time.
A true friend is someone that loves you for you, not for what you look like, or what other people think of you.
A true friend thinks about how you feel when you are with other people.
A true friend is someone that is full of encouragement.
A true friend is not afraid to tell you something if they feel it.
A true friend has no secrets and expects none.
A true friend steals your clothes.
A true friend doesn’t take jokes too far.
A true friend doesn’t follow the crowd, and are happy to stick out like a sore thumb with you.
A true friend teases you about the things you don’t mind.
A true friend knows when you need them to act appropriately.
A true friend doesn’t intimidate you.
A true friend doesn’t hate you for the other friends you have.
A true friend is happy to do what you want to do.
A true friend doesn’t judge you.
A true friend will stick by you always no matter their views.
Basically, a “true friend” means the ability to be able to accept.
I love all my TRUE friends.

Nothing

There are some things that you'll never know.
And it's killing me inside.
Draw the curtains
Take your last look
It’s time for me to die.

Traces of the morning sun,
Glisten on your face.
When you find my lifeless body,
No more life for me to taste.

Told me you loved me,
 Swore that you’d leave me,
Why won’t you let me go?

You have me driven
Out of this world,
Into a place unknown.

How did you find me,
Lifeless and ugly?
The same as when I had life?

Dead as a doornail?
White as a ghost?
You should have left me behind.

Life is a Theme park,
Death is the real art.
Feelings are never true.
You said you loved me,
You’d never leave me
When I felt nothing for you.

I told a big lie,
I’d get a better guy,
To help me through my liiife.

Well since I am no more,
Got demons at my door
I like the real hell,
Without you.

An old friend

You were my inspiration, my muse, my song. 'Till feelings of doubt and regret came along. Regret of the future, not yet passed, And doubt of the present, the doubt it would last. The feeling one has, when one finds ones friend, to a woman, is over come and twisted round the bend. For women seek security, companionship and love, when all they need is friendship, pure as a dove. I realised too late, that's what I craved, And I begged hopelessly, that it could be saved. I felt trapped, and scared, I loved you too much, but I didn't feel right, with the way that you touched. I needed a friend, I turned you a foe, I tried to push you away, but I loved you so. Do not think I felt, I wasted time in vain, but I should have talked to you, taken time to complain.
Oh, The things  people can say to you, Or even write, or do, Can make you realise, How much you miss being you. You change for others without your consent, then realise your actions and rise to repent. Thankyou hun, for that poem you wrote, I read it and cried, and to myself I do smote. I did not realise what I had done to you, nor seen the reaction of the things I could do. I send this to you now, as a act of apology true, And hope you can come to forgive me for always loving you. I write this in poem, as it is easier to say, consider my words, and be free, for today.